Happy V Day everyone! This is my first Valentines Day as a single girl for almost 20 years and so I should be freaking out and eating chocolate, sobbing on the couch in my jocks watching Bridget Jones right? Wrong! I am so excited to be single right now.
Society tells me at 36 and as a single mummy that I should be frantically out there trying to find a SIGNIFICANT OTHER to fill some mythical love hole. I should swipe right to strangers, post a profile of my amazing qualities on a website, I should go speed dating, I should take up hobbies where people I might be attracted to would hang out, then stick a post-it note to my head that reads “I am single and ready to mingle” so that I give myself the best chance of finding a significant other and am not mistaken for taken.
I woke up this morning to puppy kisses, followed by children kisses. I looked in the mirror as I did my hair this morning (OK, as I brushed my teeth and shook my uncontrollable mop about in an attempt to get it out of my eyes) and I was so happy I kissed my reflection. Got toothpaste on the mirror. Was still happy.
Later on I am going to catch up with a friend and get one of those cheek kisses too. Maybe a double barrelled cheek kiss, I just don’t know. I’ve spoken to my Mum, to one of my best friends, got a message from another few friends declaring undying love and I hit a quick reply with a bit of cheesy meme love. My client slipped in a cheeky ‘I love you’ in a work email today (I do a damn good job sometimes when I’m not distracted by writing). And none of this is out of the ordinary, none of this is for a special day. This is my normal life. F*$k yeah. I LOVE that.
I live down the beach and there is a big loveheart statue that people like to take photos in. Today it is like a portal to Romanceville, people are hopping through that red archway like there is ultimate joy on the other side and the flash of a camera will transport them there. I spent an hour having a coffee (more love for that magical brew right there) watching all these gorgeous folk do their dance of romance and had a look in my belly to see if there was any longing to join in the fun. There wasn’t. It just wanted another coffee.
I’ve had a couple of rounds with significant other types and I have decided that this particular ride isn’t for me right now. I tend to get a bit unhinged in relationships, I’m a giver to my significant other.
Time, energy, emotions, money, dreams— you name it, I give it. Seriously. I’ve even given one significant other 4 years to sign joint divorce papers for no apparent reason other than I give, time in this instance clearly. So I am thinking, after roughly a good couple of decades of giving I think I might enjoy giving some more.
OK, chill. It will make sense, I’ve worked it out so I don’t end up married twice by accident or something. Which did almost happen, but that is for another story time. So the plan is, this time I am going to give to general love, instead of specific love. And this love is abundant. It is everywhere and I do this already…when I’m single and not unhinged.
I have heaps of it and I want to cultivate even more of it. I want to spread it further, I want to be a warrior of love. I have a ton of it, so I’m going to give it to myself first (because self-love is so super important and I know that from significant other lessons), then just sort of sprinkle the rest about like my kids seem to do with lego pieces. You know, haphazardly and with no logical reasoning as to how it got there, other than you will step on it and feel it. I think I need a post-it note that reads ‘Danger — Love Warrior. Watch Your Step’.
Then maybe the lego that I sprinkle around and people notice will start to stick together and make some really cool new things, like a love sword or a love house or a love car. Maybe I’ll upgrade to miccano as my love powers increase and then the love will get all clever and be able to work itself and start attacking other people with love all on their own. OMG, have I just started a lego love war?! Yes! I am so excited for this now. Significant others need to wait, I have world love domination plans to attend to for the moment.
Excuse me, I see a couple having trouble getting through the Romanceville portal, I’ve got to go and offer to take a photo for them so they can teleport and I can get another coffee and buy some more lego.
I see you.